*wiping thickened spider webs from the blog*

I'm an arachnophobic, fyi. to emphasize the impossibility of me doing the act above.

how's life? My brain asked me. So basically my brain is having conversation with itself, ignoring the body.

we are wearing mask.

had a conversation with my bestie this day...

then we realized that with the mask of cheerfulness and peacefulness..

our hearts are struggling with pain... often covered by grief, despair... and suffering from great melancholy almost all the time.

yes, because we are all human.
i love being imperfect. that's the only way we can learn about this life.

perfectly insane.

apparently, i am a 'little out of tune' person.

(fiuh, don't mind it. just leave that fact as the way it is)

btw, I've done my first 'tarawih'.
my mind didn't cooperate well with the body.
and now, after doing that 'meaningless gymnastic-look movements' (due to absence of mind and heart), I'd like to put some words cited from a blog of a friend of mine.

To be anxious for no reason whatsoever is okay, but to be in a state of originating depression is somewhat frustrating. You understand the cause and mechanisms but still cant understand how to cope and control it. This in turn creates a heightened sense of anxiety making it even harder to cope… (--aps)

definitely, perfectly I am.
coping with the problems somehow really drain my energy. lucky i have good external mechanism.

oh.no.my.emo.periode.has.come.let.me.cut.my wrist.i.hate.my.life.


*laugh while punching the shadow in the mirror*

alohaaaa~

My face says nothing. My face shows “I’m ok” expression. So let this blog convince you that something happened with me as I’m going thru this life. Good things happened, as well as the bad ones. We human always deal with those two contradictory things : good and bad.
With symbolic shape so-called alphabets forming words, with the nexus of words forming sentences, let this blog, on behalf of me, makes you know more about me. (if you’d like to)

by the way,
It’s already 2.23 AM as I'm writing this post. Still wide awake. My eyes won’t shut in secs.
Oh yeah, I haven’t told you the reason why I decided to use ‘pseudo – pensieve’ as the name of this blog.
Pseudo, for instant, is a term for something that doesn’t really exist. We used to call it ‘semu’ in bahasa. (correct me if I’m wrong).

Pensieve is a thing belongs to Albus Dumbledore, (Hogwarts’ principal in Harry Potter series), that used for put Dumbledore’s memories aside. When your head feels like exploding and going insane because there are so many things you have to think about, use pensieve immediately *grins*

i guess you, who accidentally read this blog, are be able to hook these two words up and get the meaning.

(what a pretty ignorant blog writer I am. hahaha)

Why I chose English instead of bahasa in writing on this blog? It’s simply because I want to improve my English. So I bet you’ll find many grammatical errors in here xD

age 21 definitely not matched with ‘elementary school English skill’. I'm on verge of entering ‘dunia kerja’.

(how to say it in English? Job world? hahaha)

bubyeee